I'm thinking a lot about relationships lately. One primary perception augmenter are the Gestalts we have for relationships. Here are a few of the ways I would deconstruct our relationship types.
On a first date, you both want to get to know each other (date, not hookup). Yet many people have a hard time knowing how to cut to the core of someone. It can be tricky. Carrers are more or less chosen for money. Looks are inherited. How can you find out what is truly them? Their character?
That is this trait.
My tactic here is to ask what they do in their free time, or enjoy doing? This elevates the conversation to a level I want to have with just about anybody. (Thought there are "boring" people out there, who are dead set on making all the basic bitch life decisions they can, and oddly enough, actually telling you that!)
Some people love a volume of people, and keep a touch base with a fuck ton of people --extraverts-- .
Extraversion is normally distributed, so most people (like me) are only mildly extraverted or intraverted, but ohhh the outliers. Extraverts can have a huge advantage. As some aspects of socializing are largely a numbers game.
The 3rd independent variable I think about in someones relationship temperament is their long term conflict metablilisation. Metablilisation, not relationship resolution, or personal compromise, because a resolution is not always possible, and a compromise not always wise (especially if just dating). Though those attributes are more virtuous than not.
What I'm talking about is awareness, decrement, and wisdom when it comes to these kinds of relationship fuckery.
This ability essentially helps one to adapt when people around you are going haywire.
These are just a few ways of thinking about the constituents of our relationships with other human beings. It's definitely not conclusive. Perhaps I'll write more parallel thoughts about this as they pop into my head.
If you have any thoughts I'd love to hear how other people think about these topics so I can change my thinking for the better.